Question: Although I love taking vacations to see and experience new things, I always return more tired than when I left. I can never seem to feel comfortable enough to get a good night’s sleep while traveling. Is there something that I can do to make my vacations more relaxing and enjoyable, and can possibly help me sleep in new places?
Answer: This question reminds me of the time I was sharing a hotel room with a good friend in New York City. She got up in the middle of the night to dig through my suitcase to get some mirrors that I had packed for a workshop I was giving. She then placed one up against each wall of the hotel room facing out and one facing down on the floor to deflect the noise away. We talked about creating a travel feng shui bag the next morning.
Depending on where you’re going, it would be nice to consider the main element of the environment and bring any applicable items that may help balance where you are. For example, if you’re going to the desert, water element is a good choice to take. If you’re going on a cruise, earth element is a great addition to your cabin, as it helps to balance the abundance of water element that’s in your new, temporary surroundings. In a nutshell, water destroys and earth reduces fire (great for those volcano vacations!), wood uproots earth (may also be good for desert living), fire melts metal (not sure how to apply to a vacation spot) and reduces wood, earth controls water (your cruise go-to item) and metal chops/controls wood (perfect for hiking in the Amazon jungle!)
A little pre-planning can go a long way here. When you book a place to stay, ask what kind of decor and items are inside the room and make requests as to what you are looking for. It is not out of the ordinary for me to request the quiet side of the hotel, or a room far from the elevator and vending machine zone. You can also check for construction on the hotel or in the neighborhood, noisy individual AC/heating units versus central air, overhead beams, sloping ceilings, ceiling fans, and anything else that may inhibit sleep when you arrive. That way, you should have as few surprises as possible and you will feel prepared to feng shui the space.
Oh, and go ahead and place the hotel/ship/resort staff in your helpful people box before you leave. (That’s a metal box designed to hold “Thank you notes” regarding the help you need while on the road.) Write something like “Thank you airline and resort staff! Everyone involved with my vacation (including the actual land and facilities serving me) is always helpful in creating an experience where my sleep is fully supported and I have a great time,” and place it in a metal box. Place the metal box in the front, right-hand area of your bedroom at home.
If I were to make a generic travel bag, here’s what I’d include:
1. Earth element. Get a stone (find it or buy it) to take along so you could place it under the head of your bed. This is a traditional cure to sleep more soundly. Earth element is still – a good energy quality for the job of rest and sleep.
2. Five mirrors. Obviously from above you can figure out why. If there is a noise or some other item that needs deflecting away, you’ve got it handled. Five small ones ought to be enough but feel free to take more. There may be sloping ceilings or beams that need addressing as well. (My advice is to ask ahead when booking the place!)
3. Three crystals. If there is a door in line with the bed or a ceiling fan above the bed, a crystal may help disperse the chi to make life more enjoyable during your stay. Three ought to get you by.
4. Lavender oil. A little essential oil can go a long way to trigger relaxation – or even a Pavlovian response to relax – and lavender is a good one. If you have another favorite, feel free to bring it.
5. “A few of my favorite things.” If you’ve got that favorite pillow or blankey, bring it along. A good night’s sleep makes it worth the weight in your suitcase. Also, if you want to make a little “home altar” with some goodies from home, bring some things along that give you warm, cozy, homey feelings and place on the night stand or table when you get there.
6. A wind up alarm clock and perhaps a flashlight. This is because I want you to unplug everything that you can from the room. There’s nothing like being kept up all night because the mini refrigerator keeps going off and on, or you’re sleeping in electrical fields. If your hotel has a wake up service, then perhaps the clock isn’t even necessary. The only thing that you might want to have plugged in is a white noise-maker if you think a consistent sound might help you go deeper in your sleep. If the TV is exposed in the room, I’d take a bath towel and cover it while you sleep.
7. An IPod that has relaxation/meditation/hypnotherapy recordings downloaded. – especially if you have listened to them at home to a point where they become a Pavlovian trigger when you are somewhere else. I have a music tape called “Gardens of Serenity” and a hypnotherapy CD series called “Cleaning Out the Closet of the Mind” that I highly recommend. Zones me out immediately upon hearing the first sounds.
8. If you think you’d be up for a space clearing ritual when you arrive, that may help change the chi in the bedroom space. You can clap your hands with intention or play relaxing music when you arrive to change the chi. If you know any other space clearing rituals, feel free to bring whatever it takes to perform it. You could just be so sensitive to energy that sleeping in a place where so many people have slept keeps your chi-sensors up all night.
9. A little bag of salt. You can either place this in the tub for a soak, or place it near the bed while you sleep to absorb any negative energies that may be lurking. Think of salt as a negative energy sponge capable of gathering up and skanky energy around.
Have you seen all the hoarding shows that have been popping up on TV lately? I think many people are shocked that this issues is out there, but trust me, I’ve seen my fair share of clients who have been stricken with this affliction. One client had a mountain of papers stacked up on his stovetop – must have been there for years. Another had three quarters of his bed so stacked up with stuff, and I thought it was dangerous for him to try to sleep in the remaining spec of bed space (who knows when those sheets were changed.) And then there was the lady that had so many animals and animal feces in the house, my sinuses burned horribly throughout the “feng shui” consultation, and the other lady that among other clutter had 10 ash-filled urns in just one small living room space. Talk about a dead-feeling energy – it was hard to just stay awake in this sleepy, still, dark room filled with long lost relatives. Yes, hoarding is out there more than you might think.
Well, the shows have it right, it’s not about telling them “Clean this place up and you’ll feel great!” That just won’t do. This is a physical/mental illness issue – not simply an organization-challenged issue. I once spent three and a half hours talking with a client about the possibility of clearing off the dining room table. Trust me – it’s not about the stuff on the table.
However, here’s one idea to consider before you call the hoarding show producers. If you think you might have an issue with hoarding or have been told by others that there’s a problem, get your sleeping patterns checked, because sleep deprivation or a condition called sleep apnea may be supporting this issue. “Scientists already know – and most of us can confirm firsthand – that lack of sleep impairs cognitive function. Sleep-restricted individuals have a shorter attention span, impaired memory, and a longer reaction time.” (Sleep/Sleep Disorders News, Jan. ‘06) They also go on to say that the part of the brain that helps you “think spatially” (as in what to do with your stuff in your space) is not able to rejuvenate itself without the proper amount of sleep. So, if you think that might be you, try getting more sleep to regenerate that part of your brain that handles organization. (Of course, all my bedroom feng shui tips for rest and rejuvenation are always good to follow.) If you’re beyond feng shui help for sleep, visit a doctor or traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner for help. And, of course, if the sleep studies check out OK, I’d suggest seeking help from a professional who specializes in hoarding to get you on the path to wellness and clarity of space.
How do you know you’ve got the hoarding job finished? You should literally feel like it is easier to take a bigger breath (a hot tip if you suffer from asthma or other lung ailment) and you should internally feel more calm and peaceful – even though you may have felt the opposite during the de-cluttering process.
Happy de-cluttering!
My friend from the Cincinnati area visited me last week for my recent birthday. I apologized for our rainy Southern California weather, which prompted her to reply, “Oh no! At least I see green out there!” This made me think that perhaps there is a need to discuss some possible “Winter Blues” feng shui fixes.

The term “winter blues” is a great linguistic hint to what we are wanting to counterbalance: cold or frigid, and possibly cool, dark colors. Here are some quick tips (go back to the nine traditional cures in my book for a deeper look) to think about if you want to “dig out” from under the winter blues:
1. Balance dark with light: Now’s NOT the time to be blocking out any light during the day.
A. Open sheers, blinds and curtains to the max to allow the warmth of the sun to penetrate your home. You may want to step up the wattage in light fixtures in crucial places like at your desk or kitchen) during this time for added nighttime help if you still can’t get enough natural light during the day (but be mindful of the natural rhythm of night being a darker time of day.)
B. And let’s not forget the fire element. Fire’s movement is “up” — a perfect counter to “depressed” feelings and feeling “down.” Add candles and stoke the fireplace (even if you have to go so far as a fireplace screensaver if you are fireplace-less.)
C. One more idea is to use a big mirror to reflect the sunlight into a space that is sorely needing more light during this time of year.
2. Balance cold with warmth: Now, this can be either a real, physical temperature change, (crank up the heat,) or a perceived one. Here are some eco-friendly “perceived ones:”
A. Add vibrant colors. Think South America or Mexico. A temporary boost of bright, lively, warm colors can at a minimum, perk up your attitude, and go so far as making you feel like you are on a mini tropical vacation! Tropical placemats on the table or a vase of tropical flowers in the kitchen may be the perfect antidote!

B. Take a look at your art. Now’s NOT the time for dark, nighttime snow scenes. A good replacement choice might be art with the sun or bright green foliage depicted in it. And getting back to the “up” discussion, remove any pictures that have people NOT smiling in them. Sure, bring them back in the summer if you want to, but they’re not helping if you have a tendency towards S.A.D. or “feeling down.”
It’s worth taking a little time to review your home each season as each one brings its own attitudes and energies to possibly balance. Happy rest of winter!
Three che
ers for these gals who trusted my book’s Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life feng shui advice to help them with their relationships. Why not try a little feng shui to ensure that you have a good valentine’s day?
Success Story #1
Dear Karen, I have been meaning to write this for a long time! I had been in an abusive relationship, and got scared off from trying again for over 10 years. Now that my one child is grown and moved out, I decided to feng shui my home. I realized that the relationships corner of my house was actually missing, so I decided to put up a reproduction of a painting, called “The Storm,” by Pierre Auguste Cot, in the corner where the missing section should be. I chose that picture because it seemed to portray the qualities I wanted in a relationship. I then proceeded to treat relationships corner of that same room as well, with pretty red flowers, and a lot of beloved art objects. Well, after a month, I met an awesome guy. We are now dating, and I am so happy, at the age of 50, to rediscover love!
Success Story #2
09/20/09
I have two female nude pictures (I woman in each picture) on my wall in my very small bedroom. I live alone and I am in a new-ish relationship, about 5 months. I took the pictures down for a while during the time I was working on my bedroom (fame and rep) and we started doing very well. I put them back up and he was sent to work out of town for 4-6 months 7 hours away from here. We are still doing well, but he is far away and I will only see him about once a month on a weekend. I just want to know if I need to get rid of the pictures or is there something I can do to them and keep them? I paid a decent amount of money and they are pretty, but I want the relationship more.
09/23/09 (my answer)
Well, I think you answered your own question here, but let me explain a few things. When someone isn’t sure about my cure or the change I think they should make I usually say, “Try it for three months. If you don’t see anything change by then, then that item placed there doesn’t appear to be the problem.” Well, you already did the experiment!
If it makes you feel any better about getting rid of them, I can tell you that I ALWAYS get good relationship results when the single gals in art go. And I’ve even tossed single dudes in the bachelor pads and it has worked for them as well. I had one gal, who’s home was filled to the brim with single boats painted by her dad (very sentimental). Well, it was the first time I ever ran into that situation but, you know how boats always have girl’s names? I thought, these may be her “single gals!” So we experimented and took them all down and out o the house for three months. And let me tell you, she is my quintessential “married rich” rags-to-riches story. It was really like a storybook…
It sounds like your intentions got you this far, I’d replace the singles with couples (although I’d prefer no people in the bedroom – try flower couples or other patterns in nature versus animals or people with eyes) and watch him return. Keep me in the loop when it happens too!
11/13/09
Hi Karen,
My boyfriend called tonight to say he will be back home next week. His job finished 2 months early. I am so excited!!! Thank you so much.
Sincerely,
Dianne N
Success Story #3
Karen: I bought your book and just started on a few things. The first was my relationship corner. I am divorce and am ready to start dating. As I was cleaning my laundry room out I found a fire extinguisher. I moved it out put up some red paper and ribbon. Put some pink towels on my washer and dryer, sprayed some lavender and waited. I e-mailed an old friend that I haven’t seen since 1995. He said he had been thinking about me so much the last 2 days. We are meeting in January and who knows from there. I have laughed many times about the extinguisher in my romance corner. Maybe that was why I got divorced!! I enjoy your book a lot. Keep up the good work! Patsy St. Jeor
From a Traditional Chinese medicine perspective, most imbalances that we would lump into the
“sexual dysfunction” category would be considered a kidney imbalance. The kidney is associated with the water element which controls the emotion of fear. It is said that like the kidneys, fear is deeply rooted. And when we experience fear in excess, we injure the kidneys and “block loving feelings.” (In the destructive cycle, weak kidneys fail to reduce excess water and so the water douses the fire of the heart.) The good news is, if we support our kidneys, we can regain our vitality and reignite our loving hearts.
Within this imbalance lives a few sub categories that we must address: There are kidney YIN or YANG deficiencies, and kidney QI (chi) deficiency:
Kidney yin deficiency: Some symptoms of kidney yin deficiency include dizziness, ringing in ears, spontaneous sweating, weak legs, low back pain, fever and involuntary seminal emission. Emotions include irritation, agitation, insecurity and fear.
Kidney yang deficiency: Symptoms include an aversion to cold, pale complexion, weak knees and lower back, mental lethargy and poor spirit, lack of sexual desire, irregular menses, clear vaginal discharge, sterility, frequent urination, inability to urinate, edema, asthma, lack of willpower, inactivity and decisiveness.
Kidney qi deficiency: Symptoms include minor cold signs, frequent urination, incontinence, inability to urinate, dribbling urine, involuntary seminal emission, low back pain and weak knees and pale tongue. Kidney qi imbalance is related to kidney yang deficiency, but is not as deep an imbalance.
Since many symptoms overlap, I’d suggest consulting with a TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) practitioner such as an herbalist or acupuncturist (check them out!) to find out what specific foods and herbs would serve you best and which ones you should avoid. Yes, simple food substitutions can make a difference. And the great thing about making changes with food is the lack of pharmaceutical side effects!
If you want to go it alone, I’d suggest the book Healing with Whole Foods, Asian Traditions and Modern Nutrition, by Paul Pitchford. This book is a great reference book to have in any home for this or many other imbalances.
One of the smartest things I think I do to help get that meal on the table every night is to carmelize a big batch of onions and keep them in the fridge glass jars so I can quickly cook something up on the fly. I swear it has saved me many a night. First, here’s how I do the onions. (It’s simple, so don’t worry if you are culinary-challenged:)
1. Slice onions (Maui or other sweet onions are the best but regular ones will do too.) They reduce quite a bit, so start with a bunch! I usually cut about six to eight BIG onions. (Yes, it’s a real tear-jerker, but I’d rather do it once ina while than every day!)
2. Put onions in a pan.
3. Stir as they reduce down over medium heat.
4. Store in the refrigerator in glass jars. (Simple, right?)
And here’s my latest off-the-cuff recipe idea using leftover carnitas:
We had some left over carnitas from a party that we threw over the weekend and were kind of burnt out on the Mexican fare, so I tried a new “something out of nothing” combination. I tossed a big spoon full of the pre-made onions in a skillet along with some thinly-sliced brussel sprouts (slice them from top to bottom and they make confetti,) and then toseed in some carnitas (I knew that pancetta and brussel sprouts make a good stir fry combination so I thought, why not some other pork?) and voila! The end result was an Asian-esque stirfry that really handled the carnitas well – without tasting Mexican! Although we didn’t, I think you could add any type of sauce (like sweet and sour or some type of mustard-based sauce) and it would have really put the Asian flavoring over the top.
Long story short: Cutting onions once in a while and having them ready to go for quick meals is the way to go for this busy mom! (and yes, my son eats brussel sprouts.)
Just sending a shout out to this site’s host GoDaddy for their awesome customer service. I was up for hosting renewal, and when I contacted them to go over my services, we found several items that I never used (some, I never knew I HAD!) They credited me for one big ticket item which just about paid for three years of hosting…..which was totally sweet. There’s nothing like good customer service to make a company survive a recession with style! It PAYS to review hosting agreements.
Not sure what to do with that red holiday sweater grandma gave you? How about hanging it on the back of your office chair. You can place a red sweater, jacket, or even a piece of red tape across the back of your chair for a little protection from behind. Red can stop chi. If the back of your chair is facing the entrance of the cubicle, it can stop it from hitting you in the back!

Sometimes I ask my feng shui clients to follow what’s called “the tradition of the red envelope” for some of the “cures” I share with them. But if you know me at all, you know that in my practice, I have no issues with bending the rules of tradition. So, instead of requesting the traditional cash payment in the envelope, I ask them to give me something meaningful “from their heart.” Then, I give them an idea by saying that I love good “family” recipes. You know, the ones that were made up in someone’s kitchen versus a professional test kitchen somewhere?
I thought I’d pass along one that I received a long time ago that works very well during the holidays as well as one that “takes me back” to my childhood days when I lived in the Cincinnati area. Feel free to share your favorite holiday, or your favorite childhood comfort food recipe with me. I simply LOVE trying new recipes! Give these a go – they are EASY to make one pot dishes that are packed with flavor.
Cranberry Relish (Thanks to client Patricia Dreyfus)
4 cups cranberries
1 cup seedless raisins
1 2/3 cup sugar
Cook these in a large saucepan for 15 minutes. Then, stir the following into the mixture for 15 more minutes:
1 medium sized apple, chopped
½ cup thinly sliced celery
1 medium onion, chopped
1 cup water
1 Tbsp. Ground cinnamon
1 ½ tsp. Ground ginger
1/4 tsp. Ground cloves
1 tsp. Grated orange rind
Then serve or refrigerate and use later! (Like on a turkey and cream cheese sandwich!)
Cincinnati Chili (Karen’s healthier version) Erase all preconceived ideas of what chili means to you and enjoy this unique “sauce.”
2 pounds ground turkey (traditionally it is ground beef)
1 quart water
2 cans (8 oz. Each) tomato sauce
2 medium onions, finely chopped
5 TBS. Chili powder
2 TBS. Vinegar
4 cloves chopped garlic
2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 ½ tsp. Salt
½ oz. Unsweetened chocolate (like Hershey’s cocoa)
1 tsp. Ground cumin
1 tsp. Ground cinnamon
1 tsp. Allspice
1 tsp. Ground cloves
1 large bay leaf
½ tsp. Ground red pepper (or tabasco sauce)
In a heavy 4 quart saucepan, place turkey and water stirring until it separates into small pieces. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 15 minutes. Add remaining ingredients, stirring to blend well. (Secret: sometimes, I just throw it all in the pot at once and go from there. You really can’t go wrong with this easy recipe.)
Simmer uncovered (about 2 to 3 hours) or until ingredients have the consistency of a spaghetti sauce. Stir from time to time. Remove bay leaf and serve over freshly cooked spaghetti. (As an option, you can add some fresh onions if desired) then add very finely grated cheddar or Colby cheese. (Some people also add warmed kidney beans on top of all this, but I prefer the no onion and no bean taste!) And if you want to really go all the way, (and if the spaghetti isn’t carb enough for you!) serve with a side of oyster crackers. Sounds strange, but that crunch and extra salt works great with this dish!
Serves 6 to 8.
(Alternative: place this chili and toppings on top of a cooked hot dog (turkey too?) in a bun for an awesome chili dog.)
Want to give someone a feng shui enhancement for the holidays? Here are some ideas I came up with that work with feng shui’s “nine traditional feng shui cures.”
Light: booklight, natural-ingredient candles, night light, rechargeable flashlight
Living Object: Poinsettias, potted plants and kitchen herbs, pets, or even fresh fruit or flowers.
Sound: Chimes, music, iTunes gift cards, instruments, (Guitar Hero/Rockband?) “jingle bells,” or how about a space-clearing bell?
Moving Object: Kinetic sculpture, clock, watch, scooter, rollerblades or skates, hybrid car.
Color: This could be anything from a stained glass item to clothing – you name it.
Electrically-powered Object: appliances, TV, computer, electrically-powered car (or how about heading in the opposite direction and give a corded phone so you can help them reduce their exposure to those pesky radio frequencies?) My vote is “just say no” to microwave ovens.
Weight: Workout machines or weights or a stone sculpture.
Symbol: Hearts, diamonds, roses, cash, etc.
Other: This category is all about any item that make a person’s personal energy change. And it may only enhance that one person’s energy, meaning it may be something specifically meaningful or uplifting or symbolic to that particular person. This could be and item handed down through a family tree that only looks like an “old something” to anyone else not-in-the-know about it. It could also be a private joke-type gift, like a favorite song or something that triggers a specific good memory. Or how about an experience like a massage or a special trip? How about a coupon that says you are willing to help them de-clutter a room or garage in their home?
Got any other ideas? I’d love to hear from you!